


Existentialism on Prom Night

by al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Sorry About the Never Been Kissed Reference, Swiftie Patrick Brewer, The Boys Go to Prom, all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21689116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons/pseuds/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons
Summary: David knew he couldn’t fix it all. He couldn’t go back and redo every experience for Patrick, overwrite the years of confusion and heartache and resigned complacency.He could, however, ask his boyfriend to prom in a ridiculous, over-the-top, mortifying fashion and give him a boutonnière and slow-dance with him, the way teenaged Patrick deserved.Or, Jocelyn asks Patrick and David to chaperone at prom. Extremely cheesy rom-com moments ensue.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 34
Kudos: 253





	Existentialism on Prom Night

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song of the same name by Straylight Run. 
> 
> I've been working on a Bigger Project for awhile now and things have gotten a bit stale, so I needed something to break it up. This came to me while i was talking to my friend Cali, so shoutout to her for encouraging and reassuring me and reading over the bits and pieces I sent. Other than that, it hasn't been beta'd so apologies for any mistakes. 
> 
> This is extremely cheesy and far from being the best thing I've written, but it's cute and I had fun writing it so that's all that matters.
> 
> I edited the Rating up to T because I forgot about some swearing. Apologies.

**David knew that look all too well.**

It was the same look Jocelyn had on her face the day she convinced him to try to mentor that very bitchy teenager. 

The same look she used to guilt him into throwing her a baby drizzle or whatever the fuck it was called. 

He wanted to warn Patrick, somehow, to keep his guard up as he saw Jocelyn approach the counter just before closing, but there was no way to do that subtly. Not to mention, David was relieved to not be on the receiving end of That Look for once, and was interested to see how Patrick handled it. 

He watched from afar, rearranging body milks as Patrick greeted Jocelyn with his usual customer-service smile. 

“Jocelyn, hey! Find everything you were looking for?” Jocelyn nodded and heaved a dramatic sigh, and Patrick’s smile slipped, just a bit. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Oh, sure,” Jocelyn replied, her voice sarcastically bright. “It’s just my sister’s husband’s gout flared up again and now they can’t chaperone for prom next Saturday.” 

“I’m...sorry to hear that,” Patrick replied, his voice uncertain. David tried desperately to get his attention, clearing his throat, cut him off at the pass. He could see the writing on the wall, and it did not bode well for them. 

“Yep! So I guess prom is canceled.” Jocelyn shrugged, placing her purchases on the counter with more force than strictly necessary. David could no longer see her face, as her back was to him, but he could guess what it looked like based on Patrick’s expression alone. 

“It would be a shame to cancel the dance, wouldn’t it? The kids deserve to have their prom. Isn’t there anyone else who can chaperone?” Patrick asked, frowning at her. 

“Well,” Jocelyn laughed, her voice borderline hysterical. “I have asked _literally_ everyone in town that I can think of, and today is the last day we can cancel the ballroom at the Elmdale Inn and Suites without losing our deposit. So you tell me.” At this point, David threw subtlety out the window, emphatically shaking his head and silently waving his hands to get Patrick’s attention. Patrick resolutely kept his gaze on Jocelyn, ignoring David entirely. 

“We can do it. David and I, we can chaperone the dance.” David threw his hands up in the air, and he could tell by the slight smirk on Patrick’s face that he could see him out of the corner of his eye. Jocelyn, of course, was delighted, having gotten what she came for, and left after thanking Patrick profusely and promising him a good time. 

Patrick turned to David then, crossing his arms across his chest, unable to hold back his grin. 

“You are unbelievable,” David hissed, stalking over to him. 

“What?” Patrick asked innocently, his eyebrows raised. “It could be fun!”

“I”m sorry, but what about wrangling a bunch of hormonal teenagers and trying to force them to leave room for Jesus while listening to today’s worst top 40 hits and drinking watery punch sounds like _fun_ to you?”

Patrick’s smile faltered then as looked down, shaking his head. 

“No, you’re probably right. It...was stupid for me to volunteer both of us.” Something about the tone of his voice softened David. David reached out tentatively, placing a hand on top of Patrick’s forearm until he looked up at him again. 

“Hey.” David said softly. “What is it?” Patrick’s ears were pink, a small, embarrassed smile on his face. 

“It’s just. I know you didn’t go to prom. And I did, I went with Rachel. But it wasn’t- I didn’t—“ Patrick stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. His face turned nearly crimson as the rest of his thoughts tumbled out of his mouth at lighting speed. “I thought maybe it would be a nice way for us to both have a redo. Have prom the way the movies say it’s supposed to be.” David’s jaw dropped, and he was momentarily speechless. Whatever excuse he had been expecting, it wasn’t that.

“But David, it’s fine. You don’t have to go. I’ll go, I’m the one that promised Jocelyn without consulting you.” 

David grimaced. 

“I’m sorry. That sounds sweet but it’s just. Really not my thing?” 

Patrick nodded, smiling in a way that David understood meant he was disappointed and trying to hide it. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as Patrick walked to the back room to grab his jacket, getting ready to head home for the night.

David’s art school friends had deemed themselves far too cool to go to prom, so he skipped his. He never regretted it, exactly; it was just another item on the long list of ‘normal’ things that he never experienced. But he imagined sweet, earnest, teenaged Patrick trying so hard with Rachel, buying her a corsage and renting an ill-fitting tux and posing for pictures, not understanding why he didn’t feel right, going through the motions, and David’s heart broke a little. 

David knew he couldn’t fix it all. He couldn’t go back and redo every experience for Patrick, overwrite the years of confusion and heartache and resigned complacency. 

He could, however, ask his boyfriend to prom in a ridiculous, over-the-top, mortifying fashion and give him a boutonnière and slow-dance with him, the way teenaged Patrick deserved. 

David pulled out his phone, hastily shooting a text to Ronnie, and put his probably-very-stupid plan into motion. 

* * *

“Are you coming to my baseball game tonight?” Patrick asked the following Monday. David kept his focus on the box of labels in front of him, not trusting himself to look up at Patrick. He shrugged, noncommittal. 

“Mmm. I’m not sure. Probably not? I’m kind of tired. It’s not the finale or anything, right?” 

Patrick chuckled. “No David, it’s not the championship. We need to win two more games to get there. But if you change your mind, the game starts at 6:00 sharp.” 

“Mmkay. Noted.” 

David spent most of the day in his own head, worrying about things going according to plan. He found himself having to relabel an entire box of moisturizer, having accidentally put the deodorant labels on them. He picked up the wrong lunch order from the cafe, and he and Patrick were so hungry and busy that they just half-heartedly picked at their dry veggie burgers instead of returning for the correct one. 

David had done his level best to keep his focus during work hours, but eventually Patrick picked up on the fact that something was off. 

“David!” Patrick’s voice rang out, exasperated. 

“Hmm? What?” David asked, looking up from where he was watering the plants in the shop window. Patrick just gestured towards him, waving a hand towards the plants in front of him. David looked down and grimaced. Water was dripping from the pots, having been entirely overwatered. 

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been acting weird all day.” Patrick stepped towards him, taking the watering can from his hands and handing him a wad of paper towels in exchange. David tried to keep his voice casual, and winced when it came out a few octaves higher than usual. 

“I’m- I’m fine. I’m just tired, like I said. Feeling a bit...off, I guess.” Patrick’s brow furrowed in concern as he pressed a cool hand to David’s forehead. 

“Hmm. You don’t feel feverish or anything but maybe you should head home? I can skip my game tonight if-”

“No!” David yelped. Patrick’s eyes widened as he dropped his hand. David cleared his throat, trying to laugh it off. “I mean. No, that’s- that’s not necessary. I’m fine. I will go home early, though, thanks so much!” David rushed to grab his duffle from the back room, swiftly gave Patrick a peck on the cheek and hurried out the door, tossing a quick “good luck at the game!” over his shoulder. He could use a few hours to compose himself and calm down, and being around Patrick certainly wasn’t helping. 

* * *

He’d coordinated with a begrudgingly cooperative Ronnie in order to make sure he would show up at the game at the correct moment. (He managed to bribe her by promising her a wedge of cheese on the house, but he wouldn’t be telling Patrick that.) He needed Patrick to be on thrower’s mound or pitcher’s hill or whatever the pile of dirt in the middle of the field was called for his plan to work. His stomach roiled with nerves as he watched from his hidden spot behind concessions. He fidgeted with the baseball in his hands, on which he had written a [written a terribly punny question](https://images.app.goo.gl/DubCDgbQdZg1yaLH9), enlisting Ronnie to help with the wording. 

He watched as Patrick jogged onto the field, taking his place. David took a moment to admire how good his boyfriend looked in his uniform, then took a deep breath and willed himself forward. 

David marched onto the field before he lost his nerve, the noise of the crowd cheering not enough to drown out the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. 

Patrick looked at him, his expression bewildered, hands on his hips as David strode over. 

“David, what are you doing? We’re in the middle of a game-” David crashed his lips into Patrick’s, forcing a surprised grunt out of him. Patrick’s brow was still furrowed in confusion when they pulled apart a moment later, but David didn’t give him the chance to speak before he blurted, 

“I’m sorry I’m late. It took me forever to get here.” Patrick blinked at him, a smile spreading slowly across his face. 

“Did you just quote _Never Been Kissed_ at me?”

David kissed him again quickly, even more in love for the fact that Patrick understood the romcom reference. David pressed the baseball he’d brought with him into Patrick’s hands as he did so, and then watched as Patrick’s smile turned into a grin as he read what was written on the ball in David’s precise handwriting. Patrick looked back up at David, his face red and looking so utterly pleased that David wanted to kiss him senseless in front of the entire town. Instead, he took another deep breath, and asked Patrick the question he never imagined he would ask anyone. 

“Patrick Brewer, will you go to prom with me?” Patrick didn’t answer immediately, pulling David in for another kiss. David laughed against his mouth, feeling heady and breathless and not caring one iota that everyone was watching. Patrick pulled away a moment later, his chest heaving. 

"Who taught you what a strike-out means?" David just shot him a look, refusing to dignify that with a response. Patrick shook his head as if to say 'never mind,' and leaned in to give David yet another kiss as he answered the question. 

“Yes, it’s a yes. I’ll go to prom with you.” 

* * *

David almost felt giddy a few days later, unexpectedly excited as he got ready the night of the dance. Patrick had insisted on picking him up from the motel (“Like a proper prom date,” he said), and David actually got butterflies when he heard a knock at the door. 

The butterflies were warranted, David thought, as the door swung open to reveal Patrick standing there, a plastic boutonniere box clutched in his hands. He was dressed impeccably in a tailored blue suit that David hadn’t seen before. His eyes raked over him, drinking in every detail. Patrick flushed under his gaze, unable to suppress his grin as he told David he looked nice. 

David was wearing a suit he’d had for years, which hadn’t seen the light of day since his mother’s surprise party, but judging from the look on Patrick’s face, it would do just fine. 

Alexis insisted on taking photos of them as they pinned boutonnieres onto each other, and David rolled his eyes while secretly relishing every moment. 

It should have felt ridiculous, a _basically-twenty-nine_ -year old man getting excited to chaperone a high school dance. At first, when he decided to ask Patrick to go, he wanted nothing more than to do something that would make Patrick happy. But he found himself getting wrapped up in the excitement, too. Maybe Patrick was right; it could be a second chance for both of them to live out some long-forgotten fantasies. 

* * *

For the twenty minutes or so of the dance, Patrick took his chaperoning role very seriously. He busted a kid trying to spike the punch, and pulled more than one couple out of a shadowy corner. 

However, once the first Taylor Swift track started playing, Patrick’s expression softened and he all but dragged David onto the edge of the dance floor. 

David could see Roland starting towards them, and started wondering how he could wave him off without Patrick noticing when Jocelyn intercepted him. He mouthed a silent “thank you” at her, and she smiled as she steered Roland back towards the refreshments. David knew they were shirking their chaperoning duties, but Jocelyn didn’t seem to mind too much. 

And Patrick, as responsible as he was, didn’t seem to mind too much either, resting his cheek on David’s shoulder as _you're my, my, my, my lover_ bubbled warmly out of the speakers. 

Patrick’s lips ghosted across David’s neck, just below his ear, and he could feel laughter vibrate through his chest as they spun slowly in a circle, even as the song transitioned into something faster. Pulling away slightly to look him in the eye, David looked at him questioningly. 

“What?” He asked, a grin splitting his face as he took in Patrick’s expression. He was looking at David in disbelief, his warm brown eyes shining brightly, his face flushed. 

“Nothing. It’s just- I’m at prom, slow-dancing with a cute guy for the first time in my life. Teenage me didn’t even know how to wish for this.” 

David didn’t know how to respond to that, taken aback as he often was by Patrick’s vulnerable expressions of emotion. So he just kissed him gently, willing the gesture to express everything he was feeling but couldn’t say. He hoped it was enough. _God_ he hoped it was enough. 

They broke apart a moment later, and David rested his forehead against Patrick’s, closing his eyes. 

“Thank you, David,” Patrick breathed. “For making this happen for us.” 

David smiled, knowing there was no limit to the things he would do for Patrick in order to make him happy. The thought should rightfully terrify him, based on previous experiences of giving too much of himself to people that didn’t deserve it. But David felt no fear as he spun slowly on the dancefloor in the poorly-lit ballroom of a mediocre hotel, ensconced in the warm glow of Patrick’s affection. David couldn’t make up for Patrick’s past, fix the heartbreaks and right all the wrongs. But what he could do was give Patrick the future he deserved, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to do just that. 


End file.
